A matter of trust

A while back, the doctor suggested sinus surgery for my wife. Now, surgery is not usually one of people's favorite activities. Even less so when it's the 11th (or is it 12th) surgery in the past five years, and much, much less so when you just had sinus surgery four months ago.

So needless to say, Mrs. J2P was less than thrilled by the notion. What if this didn't work, too? What if the pain was for nothing? Those were the negative questions.

On the flip side, could this finally be it? Is the long-term result worth a little short-term pain?

Well, ultimately she went through with it a couple weeks ago. So far, there have been moments of doubt, even regret, but also hope. Time will tell the ultimate outcome, but my wife did what needed to be done, trusting in the work of the surgeon.

With that fresh in my mind, I was fascinated by a passage I read today that relayed some of the same feelings. My current book, or more accurately trilogy, of choice is The Dragon King Trilogy by Stephen R. Lawhead. If you are a fan of C.S. Lewis or J.R.R. Tolkien, I recommend his work. This passage comes from the second book, The Warlords of Nin. Listen to the exchange between the would-be hero, Quentin, and his priest friend, Durwin:

D: "To accept the crown of priest king would mean placing your trust totally in the Most High. It means that you must trust him to know what is best for you, to know you better than you know yourself. It would mean trusting him beyond all trust, even when the way is unclear -- especially when the way is unclear.
When you trust like that, you necessarily test the god's ability to keep you. You are -- we all are -- unwilling to make such demands of our gods. If we trust but little, we will be disappointed but little, eh?"

Q: If I do not believe, but follow anyway, does that not mock the Most High and defeat his will?"

D: "On the contrary, my friend. To follow without seeing the end -- in unbelief, as you say -- is really the highest form of trust."

Q:"It is but blind trust."

D: "Not blind trust. Not at all. Those who trust the powerless gods of earth and sky -- they trust blindly.
"Quentin, look at me. You cannot serve the Most High without trusting him totally, for there always comes a time when he will put you to the test. He will have all of you or nothing at all. There can be no middle ground. It is a demand that he makes of his followers."

Yes, sometimes in life -- both physical and spiritual -- we must do things we do not want to do, trust in those we do not want to trust and let go of parts of ourselves we do not want to let go of. It is called faith.

Hebrews 11:1: Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.